"The most important lesson from the scientific study of conflict is that you don’t need to worry about what you fight about or how often you fight. Instead, just focus on the first three minutes of your argument. Improving the way you and your spouse start a conflict discussion will ultimately change the tenor of the entire fight and better your chances for resolving the dispute."
—For Better, by the fantastic (inimitable?) Tara Parker-Pope, formerly of the Wall Street Journal, now of the NYT.
Don’t say “you”, say “I” and other conclusions from actual research on what does and does not work in marriage. A good book.
